When trust breaks, it can feel like the ground went out from under you. Every couple on our infidelity team has stood in that place in their own marriage, and they know the way back.
Keith & Bethany lead this team. Infidelity is part of each couple's story, and every one of them found their way back before training to walk with couples down the same road.
Keith & Bethany Lead coaches
Our infidelity coaches work alongside Terry & Katie McCabe, certified marriage coaches with 2.7 million people following along. When you work with one of our couples, the whole team is with you.
Yes, and many couples do. Sometimes the spouse who reaches out first is the one who found out, and sometimes it's the one who wants to make it right. Tell us where things stand, and our team will help you think through how and when to bring your spouse in.
Published estimates vary a lot from study to study, so we won't hand you a number that may not fit your marriage. What we can tell you is that many couples do stay together. The ones who rebuild well tend to share two things: the outside relationship has fully ended, and both spouses get real support.
If you're the one who stepped outside the marriage, recovery starts with ending all contact and answering questions honestly, even the same question for the tenth time. Your patience tells your spouse more than your promises do. Our coaches meet with you so you can learn how to carry this without getting defensive.
You'll see models with three, six or seven stages, and they mostly describe the same road. First comes the crisis after the truth comes out, then a season of understanding what happened, then rebuilding a marriage that's new in important ways. Couples rarely move through it in a straight line, and that's normal.
Most people use them to mean the same thing, breaking the promise of faithfulness you made to each other. Some use cheating for a single act and infidelity for a broader betrayal that can be emotional or physical. However you name it, what heals it is the same honest work.
That's your decision, and nobody should make it for you, including us. We'd never ask anyone to stay where they aren't safe or where the affair is still going on. If you're unsure, a conversation with our team can help you get clear before you decide anything.
More often than people expect when contact continues, which is why no contact is the first ground rule we work on. Late-night texts and just-checking-on-you messages are where it usually starts again. Clear boundaries protect both of you while trust is rebuilt.
The ones we see matter most are no contact with the affair partner and full honesty when your spouse asks questions. Many couples also agree on open phones for a season, which feels hard and builds trust quickly. Your coaches help you set rules that fit your marriage.
Neither is a smaller hurt. An emotional affair can feel worse to the hurt spouse because it's about where someone's heart went, while a physical affair often brings a shock that's hard to shake. What matters most is how honestly the two of you face it now.
Yes, and that's part of what makes it so confusing. People make devastating choices out of loneliness or old wounds while still loving their spouse. Love doesn't excuse it, and it does give you something to rebuild on if you both choose to.
Tell us a little about where you are. A real person on our team reads every one.